This postpartum doula thing confuses people. First there’s the word doula. “What did you say?” “How do you spell that?” “What does it mean?” These are questions I’m frequently asked. It’s an ancient Greek word (pronounced due luh) that used to mean hand-servant but now means a woman who provides support to other woman, and in my case that support comes after the baby arrives. Postpartum. Following childbirth.
Actually, I’m not sure which throws people more, doula or postpartum.
To me, it’s obvious. I’m working with women AFTER birth. But people get stuck at postpartum and next thing you know they’re talking to me about someone they knew – sometimes themselves - who suffered miserably from perinatal mood disorders (the new postpartum depression, much like bipolar disorder is the new manic-depressive) and how much they could’ve benefited from someone like me. Well, yes, I do work with women suffering from PMD, but that’s not the bulk of what I do. Mostly I work with healthy new moms, guiding them in newborn care, breastfeeding, giving them time to sleep, shower and eat. You know, the things family members would typically do if they lived nearby or the relationships weren’t so dysfunctional.
But I find myself explaining my role over and over and over again. Obviously, this field is in need of some serious PR work, at least in the southeast where I happen to reside. Even my own daughter doesn’t get it. I heard her tell a friend that I baby-sit, or something.
I take offense to the babysitting thing. I am not a glorified babysitter. Show me a babysitter who can accomplish what I can with a family in 3 or 4 short hours. Not to mention some of the more unorthodox functions I’ve performed. One family had recently moved so I helped unpack boxes, organize drawers (good gosh, if she could see my own drawers she would’ve thought twice) and even hung a toilet paper holder that was lying on the floor in the bathroom. Another client’s father died while she and I were working together. I helped write letters and make phone calls on behalf of his estate. Another client’s husband had been a chef in a previous life. He would leave me detailed instructions for prepping the evening meal, in between helping his wife with breastfeeding issues and teaching her how to deal with a very, very fussy baby. One time he had me brine a chicken with salt and fresh rosemary snipped from the garden outside. By the time he went this far, I was starting to suspect that perhaps my husband was paying him to teach me to cook under the guise of them hiring me as a doula. I also saved some clients big bucks by averting a call to the plumber. Since we had recently unstopped our garbage disposal with this particular technique, I recommended they try it. Voila, it worked. And my latest unique success story was curing the dad’s snoring. Though they managed to procreate twins, the couple had been sleeping apart – she with earplugs – for quite a while. I suggested what worked for my husband, and they are now not sleeping but together for the first time in years.
So back to what to call my profession… The birth doula people have it easy. They only have to explain the doula part. Birth, even labor, is crystal clear. No explanation needed there. But how can I overcome the postpartum doula confusion? What else could I call it? After Birth Doula? That sounds like someone who deals with placentas and blood and performs odd rituals like planting pithe placenta under a tree. Not the image I’m going for. So until I come up with something else, I’ll keep explaining that, no I’m not a nurse who specializes in postpartum depression, but a certified doula who works with mothers after they have their babies. If you can suggest a way to say that in 3 words or less I’d be most appreciative.
Actually, I’m not sure which throws people more, doula or postpartum.
To me, it’s obvious. I’m working with women AFTER birth. But people get stuck at postpartum and next thing you know they’re talking to me about someone they knew – sometimes themselves - who suffered miserably from perinatal mood disorders (the new postpartum depression, much like bipolar disorder is the new manic-depressive) and how much they could’ve benefited from someone like me. Well, yes, I do work with women suffering from PMD, but that’s not the bulk of what I do. Mostly I work with healthy new moms, guiding them in newborn care, breastfeeding, giving them time to sleep, shower and eat. You know, the things family members would typically do if they lived nearby or the relationships weren’t so dysfunctional.
But I find myself explaining my role over and over and over again. Obviously, this field is in need of some serious PR work, at least in the southeast where I happen to reside. Even my own daughter doesn’t get it. I heard her tell a friend that I baby-sit, or something.
I take offense to the babysitting thing. I am not a glorified babysitter. Show me a babysitter who can accomplish what I can with a family in 3 or 4 short hours. Not to mention some of the more unorthodox functions I’ve performed. One family had recently moved so I helped unpack boxes, organize drawers (good gosh, if she could see my own drawers she would’ve thought twice) and even hung a toilet paper holder that was lying on the floor in the bathroom. Another client’s father died while she and I were working together. I helped write letters and make phone calls on behalf of his estate. Another client’s husband had been a chef in a previous life. He would leave me detailed instructions for prepping the evening meal, in between helping his wife with breastfeeding issues and teaching her how to deal with a very, very fussy baby. One time he had me brine a chicken with salt and fresh rosemary snipped from the garden outside. By the time he went this far, I was starting to suspect that perhaps my husband was paying him to teach me to cook under the guise of them hiring me as a doula. I also saved some clients big bucks by averting a call to the plumber. Since we had recently unstopped our garbage disposal with this particular technique, I recommended they try it. Voila, it worked. And my latest unique success story was curing the dad’s snoring. Though they managed to procreate twins, the couple had been sleeping apart – she with earplugs – for quite a while. I suggested what worked for my husband, and they are now not sleeping but together for the first time in years.
So back to what to call my profession… The birth doula people have it easy. They only have to explain the doula part. Birth, even labor, is crystal clear. No explanation needed there. But how can I overcome the postpartum doula confusion? What else could I call it? After Birth Doula? That sounds like someone who deals with placentas and blood and performs odd rituals like planting pithe placenta under a tree. Not the image I’m going for. So until I come up with something else, I’ll keep explaining that, no I’m not a nurse who specializes in postpartum depression, but a certified doula who works with mothers after they have their babies. If you can suggest a way to say that in 3 words or less I’d be most appreciative.