I’m having a hysterectomy next week. Tuesday at 12:15 p.m. to be exact.

This has not been an easy decision. I’ve gone back and forth over the last couple of years pondering, should it stay or should it go.

See, I’m one of those people that typically believe our body parts should be left intact. Like tonsils. They have a purpose, leave ‘em be. You start taking things out and messing with the original design and next thing you know you’ve opened up Pandora’s box. Maybe I shouldn’t use the box analogy. Let’s go with can of worms. So, I tried to leave my uterus in place. I sought alternative treatments. I ignored it. But then I got fed-up and decided to get rid of it.

My friend, Renee, has a good theory on removing it. She equated my uterus with an old, worn-out sofa that still sits in the living room not being used but taking up precious space. She says I don’t need my uterus anymore; it’s served its purpose, now it’s just in the way. “You’d throw out the old sofa, wouldn’t you?” she asked. Well, yeah, I suppose so.

I really like my doctor. He has a great “bedside manner.” I don’t like that term. What else can we call it? How about, I really like the way he communicates and discusses things with me. I don’t feel like I’m just another uterus to him. He did a great job with the touchy subject of all the horrible, awful things that can go wrong during surgery, but sign on the dotted line anyway. I was feeling pretty good about this decision until I heard all those disclaimers. Crikey. Please don’t let me fall in the 1% of people that those things happen to, because someone has to be the 1%.

So, as my friend Brooke, who has such an uncanny way with words, says, “Goodbye, periods! Goodbye, sanitary pads! Goodbye, wings that stick to your pubes and yanks them every time you pull your panties down to go pee! Goodbye, inexplicable bloating!”

 I won’t be driving for a couple of weeks. But if all goes as planned – a laparoscopic procedure, no complications – I should be back on my feet in a week or so, just taking things gingerly for a short spell. Feel free to give me a call or drop me a line or loan me a good movie if you have one on DVD that you recommend.

 


Comments

Uncanny Brooke

Sat, 01 Sep 2007 11:22:19

We are all behind you in this, lady. I know you must be feeling a little scared and uncertain right now, but you are one of the toughest gals I know, and you'll come through it as smoothly as a uterus slipping through a navel. Perhaps you could spend some quality time with your uterus this weekend before saying your final farewells; you know, share a banana split and a cup of General Foods International Coffees. Maybe you could get it bronzed, and use it as a one-of-a-kind doorstop for the laundry room. I wonder if it could be converted to a swimming cap, or maybe a hot water bottle. It's proven its elasticity, after all. Whatever you choose to do (or not) with that crimson pear o' womanhood, remember that it takes a special girl to be every inch a lady, even with some of the lady parts removed. You, my pamnacious friend, are that kind of girl, and I know you will approach the upcoming chapter in your life with your usual poise, grace, beauty, and charisma. And maybe one hell of a shower cap too.

 

Sherry

Sat, 01 Sep 2007 11:39:50

First of all, Brooke, thank you. I thought I was the only one with that wing problem! Its when you talk to other women that you find this stuff out. And I like Rene's analogy. I think I need to do some interior decorating myself.
I can't wait to hear all about it!
All will go well I am sure of it. Just think of the computer time you will get!! crikey!
xoxox

 

Polly

Sat, 01 Sep 2007 15:28:34

That's it, 21st century interior redecorating, what all the baby boomers are talking about.

I'm going to ask about that shower cap idea. He just might go for it!

Jay probably has some ideas about quality time with my uterus. I'll ask him.

XXXOOOO to all of you!

 

BIG MAMA

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 08:52:13

yOU'LL BE GREAT! iT'S LIKE A LOAD OFF YOUR SHOULDERS BUT THAT'S NOT THE EXACT LOCATION. mINE WENT TO THE DUMP YEARS AGO BUT NOT THROUGH MY NAVEL. aHH, THE SCIENTIFIC ADVANCES WE'VE MADE ! lET EVERYONE TREAT YOU LIKE A PRINCESS AND LOVE IT! I'll be thinking about you. LOVE YOU

 

Renee

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 13:25:32

you are going to be so relieved, w/out that ole sofa getting in the way.
I love you
I'll drop by with some books and movies!
R

 

Hoibe

Wed, 05 Sep 2007 03:44:14

Glad you are doing ok, a little groggy last nite but that is understanable. with all your good friends chiming in here and god what are they talking about?? a bathing Cap, leave me out of this. don't want to know , girls I won't say a thing, BUT thank you for being here for her, its well appreciated and I love you all for it.............
Movies on the way......xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 



Leave a Reply

Name (required)
Email (not published)
Website