I’m five days out from having had a hysterectomy and here’s what I have to say: WHAT TOOK ME SO LONG???!!!

Actually, I know what took me so long. Accuse me of new age mumbo jumbo but the fact is there were many things that needed to take place before I would be ready. First, I needed to explore all my options (thank you, Mona). That way, I can never look back with regret and say, “I should’ve tried such and such first.”  Secondly, I needed to be in this neighborhood with these great neighbors and friends who took such good care of me and my family with food, rides and moral support. Thirdly, I needed to find my doctor. That was the final piece to the puzzle. I only found him at the beginning of the summer. At the time, I didn’t realize that I wasn’t all that comfortable with my previous doctor. But once I found him, the decision was clear.

 If you have to go through this, make sure it’s laparoscopic because it makes a WORLD of difference. I’m not one who can stomach watching medical procedures on TV, or even looking at pictures of surgeries in progress. I get all queasy and woozy and my buttocks squeeze together kind of like when I’m looking over the side of a high cliff. But I am really curious about how this surgery is done. Details, I’m talking. I’m curious about the nitty gritty details. Because I have a hard time wrapping my brain around how they were able to figure out what was going on inside, prepare things, then remove my 14-16 week pregnant-sized uterus from a one inch incision. I have 3 incisions total. One, the largest measuring about 1 inch, was cut right on top of a previous incision scar. That’s where most of the work was done, I was told, which explains why it was the most sore of the three. Another, just above my belly button is about ¼ inch in size, and the third is about ¾ inch. That’s it.

I’ve been up and around from the get go. That’s what they want. But it’s been mostly confined to the house. Today, I’m going to take a short walk, get some fresh air and sun on my face for a dose of Vitamin D. After that, I’ll rest a bit. But I’m happy to report, recovery is coming fast and I’ll be back to the routine in no time. Though I think I will milk this a bit longer while I can!

 
 

I’m having a hysterectomy next week. Tuesday at 12:15 p.m. to be exact.

This has not been an easy decision. I’ve gone back and forth over the last couple of years pondering, should it stay or should it go.

See, I’m one of those people that typically believe our body parts should be left intact. Like tonsils. They have a purpose, leave ‘em be. You start taking things out and messing with the original design and next thing you know you’ve opened up Pandora’s box. Maybe I shouldn’t use the box analogy. Let’s go with can of worms. So, I tried to leave my uterus in place. I sought alternative treatments. I ignored it. But then I got fed-up and decided to get rid of it.

My friend, Renee, has a good theory on removing it. She equated my uterus with an old, worn-out sofa that still sits in the living room not being used but taking up precious space. She says I don’t need my uterus anymore; it’s served its purpose, now it’s just in the way. “You’d throw out the old sofa, wouldn’t you?” she asked. Well, yeah, I suppose so.

I really like my doctor. He has a great “bedside manner.” I don’t like that term. What else can we call it? How about, I really like the way he communicates and discusses things with me. I don’t feel like I’m just another uterus to him. He did a great job with the touchy subject of all the horrible, awful things that can go wrong during surgery, but sign on the dotted line anyway. I was feeling pretty good about this decision until I heard all those disclaimers. Crikey. Please don’t let me fall in the 1% of people that those things happen to, because someone has to be the 1%.

So, as my friend Brooke, who has such an uncanny way with words, says, “Goodbye, periods! Goodbye, sanitary pads! Goodbye, wings that stick to your pubes and yanks them every time you pull your panties down to go pee! Goodbye, inexplicable bloating!”

 I won’t be driving for a couple of weeks. But if all goes as planned – a laparoscopic procedure, no complications – I should be back on my feet in a week or so, just taking things gingerly for a short spell. Feel free to give me a call or drop me a line or loan me a good movie if you have one on DVD that you recommend.