Why do old people say things like this? I was in Trader Joes to get a bag of this really yummy brown rice mix but I couldn’t get to it because this “senior couple” browsing the aisle was blocking it. While I waited not exactly patiently for them to move I overheard the old man say, “Look at this, Indian spice mix.” Then he picks it up and starts looking at it and then, as if he’s really surprised says, “Oh, it’s from India, it’s not American Indian.”

When was the last time you found American Indian cooking spices in your grocer’s aisles, I ask ya?

Okay, I should have more compassion but if I start asking dumb questions like that, well, at least put me on some powerful vitamins or something.

My family made it home from Orlando safe and sound, though somewhat wired from the whole experience. Yes, they are hooked – theme park junkies now. They loved every minute of it. And they got the royal treatment, too. First, Veronica got them in to Universal for free. Zach and Olivia went in as the Smalley siblings and Jay went in as, well, Veronica. He used her pass with a photo of her in her halter top. Yeah, I can see the resemblance, riiiiiight. So, not only did my children learn some basic scamming skills, it seems they were constantly singled out for one special thing or another. Free express passes, getting to be IN the family parade, working with the street performers, getting to skip 70 minute lines and ride the same roller coasters numerous times.

Zach’s version of the family parade training is hysterical. They were each given a hula hoop with ribbons hanging from it. They were told by the family parade instructor (I think that’s his professional title) to hold the hula hoop just so with the ribbons hanging down, and on cue they were to raise it left, raise it right, right it in the middle. Rah, rah, rah. Well, he comes over to Zach and says, “Excuse me, what’s going on here? Those ribbons are on the left and they should be hanging DOWN.” He whipped Zach into shape in no time. Well, he didn’t really whip him if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m told Zach gave quite a performance in the parade, though — smiling and waving and shaking his hula hoop with reckless abandon, within the choreographed parameters of course. He is expecting to find video footage of it on YouTube soon.

Olivia finally, FINALLY, after much coercing and begging and ride operators promising her all kinds of things, rode the roller coasters and loved them all. That didn’t stop her from each and every time saying, “Does this go fast because I don’t like to go fast? Does this drop because I don’t like to drop? Does this roll because I don’t like to roll? Does this get you wet because I don’t like to get wet. Does this move because I don’t like to move?” Then she would ride the particular ride, love it, and go back for more. But with each new ride, it was the same scenario. Zach wants to add up the wasted time used convincing Olivia that she would like the ride.

The Weebly team has been very busy fixing the bugs that supposedly were causing the comments to get clipped off. So don’t use that as an excuse to blurk. Leave a comment after you visit. Until next time…

Crap. I think my plan is backfiring. I was hoping to send my husband and children off to Orlando—theme park hell—where they’d get hot and tired and frustrated with the long lines and millions of grouchy people so they would come home immensely appreciative of the wonderful vacations we’ve taken them on in their short lives and would never ask to go to YOU KNOW WHERE again. Instead, Olivia called last night and talked non-stop for about 20 minutes telling me every detail of every ride she went on. I couldn't get a word in edgewise. She even told me about the tour guides, for cryin’ out loud. “The guide was REALLY good. He had me so scared. You should be here,” she said.

Do you think she remembers the park ranger who was our guide in Yellowstone? Now HE was great. He had such passion and was so knowledgeable about the land. Or what about the Frenchman who was a 4th generation chocolatier at the chocolate factory in Arbois? Was he scary? Oh, I guess that wouldn’t be the point. But you know what I mean.

So, I’m on day 2 ½ without the family. Today might be a day to get the pressure washer out and attack the deck. It’s hot. Maybe I’ll just go swimming instead.

I hope my family is wearing sunscreen down there under the Florida sun. And hopefully they aren’t eating too much junk and drinking tons of soda. And they need a good night’s sleep to deal with the long days in the park.

Once a mom, always a mom.

Happy Memorial Day.

So Jay says I need to put something on here to stir things up a bit, create some heated discussion. He says he's going to "feed my blog" with controversial comments. I say, hey, don't tell me what to blog. Leave my blog alone. You get your own blog.  I say that purely from love.

But he did get me wondering about blog lingo. So, in case you are not up on your blog lingo, as I surely wasn't, here are some basic terms to know:
Barking moonbat - someone on the extreme edge of whatever their -ism happens to be.
Bleg - to use one's blog to beg for assistance such as money. It's known humorously as blegging.
Bloiversary - the birthday of the establishment of a blog.
Blogger ecosystem - a chart or list showing the links between blogs.
Blogroach - someone who infests the comments section of a blog with obnoxious postings. Similar to trolls who disrupt discussions by tricking others into reacting.
Blogroll - a collection of links on the sidebar of a blog linking to other blogs.
Blogosphere - the totality of the blogging community. Also known as Blogistan or the blogiverse.
Blogstorm - when a large amount of information, commentary, or activity erupts in the blogosphere.
Blurker - a person who reads many blogs but leaves no evidence of themselves behind; a silent observer.
Crud - when a blogger makes an error in programming that results in visible code appearing on the screen.
Comment Spam - an unsolicited commercial message automatically posted in a blog's comments area.
Dead-tree Media - anything made of paper such as newspapers and magazines.
Dooced (pronounced like deuce) - losing your job for something you wrote in an online blog.
Drive-by Blogging - the sudden rush of blog entries that fill in the gaps and fulfill the requirements of the weblog portfolio assignment.
Edublog - an education oriented blog.
Event blog - a blog set up for a particular event.
Feed Reader - news aggregators that are extensions to web browsers such as Firefox are used to read RSS feeds from blogs and other sources.
Flame - to make a hostile remark; usually of a personal nature.
Klogs - also known as knowledge logs are internal blogs often housed on intranets.
Link rot - when a list of website links contains many dead links; the best solution is to design your website with a permalink system
People to Know Jorn Barger - Credited with coining the term weblog in 1997
Peter Merholz - Credited with coining the term blog in 1999
Dave Winer - Created one of the first weblogs
Permalink - a web link that takes you to the permanent location of an article in a blog archive.
Podcasting - using your MP3 player to listen to the audio from a blog.
Plog - a project log used to chronicle a project.
RDF (Resource Description Framework) - a web content syndication format.
RSS (Rich Site Summary) or (Really Simply Syndication) - a web content syndication format; a feed reader is used to check RSS enabled webpages on behalf of a user and display any updated information. Learn more
Thread - a side discussion taking place within the comments section of a blog. The term is taken for the forum discussion environment.
Vogging - video blogging
Xenoblogging - the work you do that helps other people's blogs

I have a feeling there may be a few blurkers out there. Come on now, don't be shy. Reveal yourselves. It's very freeing.

Does anyone have those bars mounted on the walls beside the toilet that let you ease yourself down gently? I might need those.

So, today I joined Rigo for his CORE class. All that core talk yesterday peaked my interest.  It was squatting room only - the place was packed. That's probably partly because Rigo is easy on the eyes. I think that's  a requirement. You can't be named Rigo unless you're gorgeous.

Maybe having a good looking instructor helps some people get through the class but not me. I could barely see him through all the people and props. What happened to the good old days of exercising with just you and the floor? We had the works today. I thought we had it all in that last class but noooooo. Today we had all that AND the birthing ball. The last time I used one of those was when I was in labor with Olivia - I leaned over it during contractions. Now I'm trying to undo the damage of childbirth by lying on my back on the darn thing thrusting my pelvis into the air, contracting my glutes instead of my uterus.

I had my neighbor Jim working out behind me. In case you didn't know, men and women have different approaches to work-outs. Women stay rather subdued and focused. It's like pulling teeth to get us to respond when the instructor asks, "How's everybody doing? " Not Jim. He grunts and groans and curses at Rigo.  At one point, Rigo asks if we were ready for more to which Jim responds, "F--- you."  Maybe he's not always like this, since he did just have a vasectomy and may still have some healing - both physically and emotionally - that needs to happen. Either way, I was quite entertained. Thanks, Jim.

My family leaves tomorrow for Florida. I will be home alone for an extended period of time for the first time ever. I am so excited. I have all kinds of plans. I'm going to start with cleaning the baseboards throughout the house and then I'll make it through each room, cleaning out closets and bookcases along the way. Then, once that's all done, I'll get to the attic. In between all that, I'll walk the dog and make it to the gym for some good, invigorating workouts. If there's time, I'll attack the garden.

That's the plan at least, if I ever make it out of my pajamas.

My first blog entry, EVER

My friend Cindi said she saw blogging in my future. Well, the future is here people. I am now officially a blogger. Thank you for joining me. I haven't a clue what I'm doing but I'm sure, like everything else I do, I'll learn as I go along.
 
So yesterday I went to the new health club with my younger, more fit neighbor Carie. She told me about this class called Total Conditioning that focused on strength building using all kinds of contraptions like weigh bars, rubber bands, dumbells, a step. There may have been more torture devices but those are all I can recall at the moment.   Part way through the class, after wiping the sweat out of my eyes so I could see, I look over at Carie and she is looking fit and  perky as ever while I’m wondering if maybe I should have bought that heart rate monitor afterall. I may have looked like I was doing push ups and squats and lunges but really I was planning my strategy for how to get to the first aid counter before passing out. I did find some comfort in the fact that Carie is a physician and would surely recognize signs of distress in me before I dropped dead.
   
I’m happy to report I made it through the class. I was feeling pretty good before bed last night, too, but took a couple of ibuprofen just in case.
   
Fast forward to today….walking up the stairs has taken on new meaning. Every step is done with conscious awareness of the muscles in the back of my thighs, buttocks, and inner thighs. I would have happily convalesced today but luckily for me my 12-step (as in walking buddy) sponsor, Deb, called to say, “we are walking today, right?” That loosened me up some but I think a sauna and steam room are in order this evening. 
   
Look forward to my entry in a few weeks when I’m boasting about how fit and strong I feel, if I don’t end up in the hospital first.

Later that day

It seems people are starting to wonder if I have too much time on my hands, what with my recent obsession with youtube and now blogging. But I’ve had some great responses to my blog so far. Apparently I’ve been very inspiring, too. I inspired Veronica to exercise - in her own unique way. She had been reading about shaping up for summer and getting rid of belly fat, hoping that the mere fact that she took the time to read the article and study the pictures would start the process, when she decided to make a quiche.

She wrote:
Actually your blog has motivated me to walk quickly through the grocery store to gather the ingredients for my quiche. I will use exaggerated motion while shaking the cream. Who knows, I may pull a muscle beating the eggs with my old mixer. As I bend over to put the quiche in and out of the oven I will try to use my core strength and squatting type movement. When the kids leave some on their plates I will not eat it until I am back in the kitchen over the sink doing calf raises with every bite. Through all of this I will try to remember to hold my stomach in and do Kegels for the rest of the day.

Well done, Veronica. That’s the way to replace old, unproductive behaviors with new ones.

Having talented, creative friends in my life is a bit like my theory on owning a boat. Boats take so much upkeep and mechanical prowess and money - it’s really better to have a friend with a boat. Well, that’s how I am regarding talent and creativity. I surround myself with talented, creative friends who do the work for me and then all I have to do is relay the information to others. Voila. Another blog entry is born.